Thursday, April 26, 2012

THE CINDER PRINCESS - Contest Entry #ouatwriting

Here's my entry for the ONCE UPON A TIME Contest!

Theme: Unexpected Fairytales

Word Count: 350

The cinder girl watched him, his brooding darkness so typical, and yet, so intriguing.  She kindled the fire absently, unable to focus on the task. 

The Prince was unhappy.  She could see it in his expression, the tightness in his shoulders.  He'd been this way for weeks.  She watched through thick lashes, avoiding looking at him directly - she wouldn't risk being removed from his staff. 

"My Lord,” asked the soldier, “does your kingdom not find you well taken care of?" 


"Do your servants not tend to your every whim?" 

"Hmph.  Indeed."  

"Then what, sire?  What has you tortured so?”

The Prince rounded on him, anger pulling his face. 

"Is it too much to ask that I rule my kingdom with beauty by my side?! The human girls keep dying!" 

The cinder girl's head shot up.   The Prince wanted ... love?  Of all things!  It was preposterous.  

And yet ... something inside of her sparked.  A feeling of ... no, it couldn't be ... hope?  She hadn’t felt anything for so long. The girl found herself standing up, her body moving without permission, and she, unable to stop it.  

The soldier’s voice was deafening.  “How dare you approach the Prince!?"  

The Prince turned to her, his face softening unexpectedly.  When his gaze met hers, she felt weak with the heat of it.   Had she still been in possession of a heart, it would have beat rapidly. 

He looked at her, not with anger, but with curiosity.  Would he strike her?  Would she be removed from his charge? 

A woman entered the room, unlike any she’d ever seen.  All three sets of eyes settled on the intruder, her glistening skin and glowing aura impossible to ignore. 

“I see it’s too late.  You won’t be requiring my services after all.” She spoke directly to the girl, completely ignoring the presence of the Prince.  

Noting the confusion on the girl’s face, she added indignantly, “I’m your Fairy Godmother.  But it seems he’s finally seen you.  My services you no longer need.”

“But ..." the cinder girl said timidly, "... vampires don't have Fairy Godmothers." 

Theme: Unexpected Fairy Tales Length: 350 words or less. Details: & Timetable: Contest open from April 4 till midnight, April 29th Twitter: @ruanna3 & @sjiholliday & #ouatwriting


  1. Haha! Awesome! What a twist on a classic. I love doing that. Hope you win!

  2. I was wondering why she didn't have a heart! Really enjoyed this!

  3. I like this! haha awesome twist:D

  4. Brilliant unexpected twist! Thanks for entering :)

  5. Nicely paced, with the truth sneaking up on you. Thank you for entering! :)

  6. fun fun fun..I enjoyed reading this! and love the ending twist. how fun!
    I am your newer follower..pls follow back if you can.

  7. So fun! Is the prince also a "mythical" creature? He complained that the "human" girls didn't last. Why would he make that distinction?

    Thank you for sharing!

    1. Hi Ang! Yes, they are both vampires - that was the "unexpected" part. ;-)

  8. I love it! I suspected, with her not having a heart, that she was a vampire. :)