Tuesday, May 8, 2012

THE WRITER'S VOICE Entry #1 [EVER, YA Paranormal Romance]

*Hi, you may know me as Jessa Russp.  LOL!  *shakes head*
THE WRITER'S VOICE contest is being hosted by the fabulous Cupid, Monica, Brenda, and Krista! Thank you so much ladies!!!   *Follow along on Twitter by using hash tag #TheWritersVoice


EVER 
YA Paranormal Romance
Word Count: 87,100


PLOT SUMMARY: 

Ever Van Ruysdael has a choice: continue pining for the ghost of her dead best friend, Frankie, whom she’s secretly loved as long as she can remember, or move on to her sexy new neighbor, Toby – who unbeknownst to Ever, is a soul collector.  Make the wrong choice, and she’ll learn that more than just her heart is on the line.

Seventeen-year-old Ever’s love life has been in purgatory for the past two years.  Since the car accident that took Frankie’s life, but spared hers, she’s had to wake up every day to his ghost, making it impossible to mourn him or move forward.  That all changes when Toby moves in next door.  Easy to fall for, Toby’s relaxed confidence and honest interest in her makes Ever feel like the only person in the world.  Torn between an exciting new relationship with Toby, or the deep, comfortable love she feels for Frankie, Ever must make a decision. 

As Ever falls harder for Toby, Toby gets closer to Frankie.  Soon, she will learn that the price of her new romance isn't just her heart, but Frankie’s soul. 


FIRST 250 WORDS:


I've lived next door to Frankie my entire life. We played together when we were little. He pulled my pigtails. I tattled, he teased.
He's the best friend I've ever had.
I've been in love with him as long as I can remember. That’s my secret.
He's been dead for two years.
Today is the second anniversary of his death. It's been exactly seven hundred and thirty days since the car accident that took his life, and didn't take mine. Seven hundred and thirty days since the only guy I've ever loved died in my arms, followed me home from the hospital, and never left my house again. 
I'm in love with a ghost who has absolutely no idea I feel this way, and worse - probably still sees me like an annoying kid sister. No. Big. Deal.
I mean, sure, it took some getting used to, but eventually I had to accept the fact that he's here for good. There's no mourning him, and there's no moving on with my life. 
Two years. Two years since my life as a normal teenager went right out the window.  Two years since Frankie became nearly invisible.
Looking at him now, leaning up against the antique roll top desk my mom insists is proper living-room d├ęcor, he’s beautiful, even in death.
I watched him die, you know. I held onto him as the last breath left his body. I cried and screamed, but no one came in time. No one heard me. 



 

92 comments:

  1. great entry, jessa. good luck with the contest!

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    1. Thank you, Valerie! Good luck to you as well!

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  2. WooHoo! Love it! You're SO gonna get snagged!

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    1. I friggin hope so! Did you decide not to enter? :-(

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    1. *dances with you* ... but not in a weird way. Ahem, hubs. lol

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  4. I love this opening! So heartbreaking and intriguing! Good luck with the contest!

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  5. Very powerful opening. Good luck!

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    1. Thank you, Nicole! Good luck to you as well!

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  6. This sounds awesome - really like the voice!

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  7. Ooo, sounds intriguing! Good luck to you!

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  8. Great story idea! Good luck!

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  9. Dang! That excerpt is gutting! Nice work! Good luck with the contest - see you on Twitter. :)

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    1. Thank you so much!!! Good luck to you as well!

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  10. Hey Jessa...from one contestant to the next...good luck!

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  11. Dropping by to say "Good Luck!" and this line grabbed me: Seven hundred and thirty days since the only guy I've ever loved died in my arms, followed me home from the hospital, and never left my house again.

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    1. Thank you, Jennie! Good luck to you as well!

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  12. I had to click through and see who snagged the number one Mr. linky spot :) Sounds like an interesting premise! Best of luck!

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  13. Great job! I'll call you speedy fingers from now on! I'll try to sneak in tonight! Good luck! :)

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  14. Popping in to say good luck. I like your premise. I also really love the way you've set up your blog. Must follow.

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    1. Thank you so much! Its nice to hear you like my blog - you never know how it looks to other people, you know? Good luck in the contest!

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  15. Awesome query - talk about high stakes! Good luck!

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    1. Thank you, Alice! Good luck in the contest!

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  17. Great opening lines! I love the last paragraph especially! I joined your blog and look forward to reading more. Good luck in the contest!

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  18. Interesting story -- good luck!

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  19. Intriguing premise! I wish there was a little bit more about the soul collector bit in your query. Good luck!

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    1. Thank you, Cherie!

      Its been really hard for me to figure out what to put in the query. Toby being a soul collector is a very climactic part of the story, so I thought I should leave it out. Then I thought I should keep it, so agents will see why the stakes are high and why Frankie's soul is in danger. I'm still totally confused about what to say and what not to say in a query (and I despise queries because of this), but for this contest, its in there. ;-)

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  20. Ghost stories are classic. Loving the romance!

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  21. Love the last line of your query. Good luck.

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  22. Wow! Scored first position! Fast fingers!
    This is such fun! Good luck

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  23. Oh, snap! Yay for getting in, and yay for your awesome entry! Best of luck.

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  24. Finally getting the chance to pop over and take a look at your entry! I'm not normally much of a paranormal reader, but this one is really intriguing! Really loved the line that starts, "Seven hundred days..." -- way to pack an emotional punch! Good luck!

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  25. I love me a good ghost romance story. This is intriguing -- I love the humor scattered throughout. Good luck in the contest!

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  26. Congratulations on making the list, and best of luck with your fantastic entry! ^_^

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  27. Wow, I love the idea of letting go of one love, only to find that the new love is not what you think it is. I'm very interested to see where this story could lead. There's a great deal of drama that can be built on this premise.

    Once again, good luck!

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  28. Stopping by as one Writer's Voice contestant to another to say good luck!

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  29. ooh, I like this concept, and I don't normally read paranormal. good luck :)

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  30. Sounds like something I'd have on my shelf! Good Luck! #199

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  31. Loved the conflict between the three main characters, very interesting situation you've put them in. Try bringing that out more right off the top, as it'll hook your audience right it!

    Good luck!

    John

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  32. Awesome. Wishing you well in the competition.

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  33. Awesome. Wishing you well in the competition.

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  34. I don't usually read paranormal, but I love your premise. Looks interesting.

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  35. Good luck!! (And as a side note I *love* the name Ever!)

    #40 in Writer's Voice

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  36. Sounds very cool. Good luck!

    Alex (Entry #85)

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  37. Sounds interesting. The query alone makes me want to read it. & I understand how the p replaced the o with fast fingers flying. Congrats on snagging the #1 spot & good luck!!

    Entry #31

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    1. Thank you! Congratulations on getting picked!!!

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  38. Oooo soul collector!! Interesting. Good luck ;o)

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  39. Sounds interesting! Good luck!

    Nikki (Entry #160)

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  40. Ooh, love the query!! Good luck!!

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    1. Thank you! That sucker took me for a spin, beat me till I was bloody, and then laughed at me. I'm pretty happy that I finally got it to submit. ;-)

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  41. Hi Jessa,
    Great premise, cute voice, very YA.
    Good luck
    Jacky (#130)
    xxx

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    1. Thank you Jacky! Good luck in the contest!

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  42. I love the rhythm of the first page. You really captured my interest! Good luck!

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  43. Replies
    1. I would SO read yours as well! So good!!! You'll get in for sure!

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  44. First, I have to tell you that your WIP list makes me tired - no exhausted. Wow.

    I really got the teenage voice in your first page. An interesting concept. I'd like to see more.

    Good luck!

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  45. Thank you!

    *My WIP list is nothing compared to my unfinished ideas list, saved in random documents in random files on my computer. LOL! ;-)

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  46. Just popped by to wish you good luck. Love the story premise and your opening words too.

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  47. This sounds fascinating. A soul collector what a cool concept. Good luck in the contest.

    #134

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  48. Stopping by to wish you good luck in TWV. :)

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  49. Passing through to say good luck!

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  50. Okay, I'm so new to this blogging business, I just figured out I could 'click' on a contestant's name and read their entry. I never thought I was a fan of romance, but I loved this query--touching and spooky.

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  51. I agree with the others - Ever is a gorgeous name. :D Good luck!

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  52. I can't believe you were #number 1 - - GOOD LUCK!! I am loving this entry...

    check me out if you get a chance #165

    - Random Andrews

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  53. "Seven hundred and thirty days since the only guy I've ever loved died in my arms, followed me home from the hospital, and never left my house again." After that line I was definitely in. Good luck.

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  54. Now I'm curious to know how he died.
    Best of luck!
    Carolyn, #157.

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  55. wow, what a way to start this contest. You sure did set the bar high with this! Great job and good luck- from a new follower who didn't make it past Mr. Linky, but will be rooting from the sidelines :)

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    1. What a wonderful thing to say, Amber! Thank you so much!

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  56. Good luck in the contest~!

    Clara #112

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  57. i'm a sucker for ghost/love stories! your writing is lovely. best of luck to you! jessica (#111)

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